Queens of the Underworld Greek God Dating App-Haides

Name: Haides

Parents: Titans Cronus and Rhea

God of the Underworld

Wants: Sunlight, happiness, kids.

Loves: My wife and my three-headed dog

Needs: Spring to get here and bring my wife back.

Hates: Being cooped up by myself. Dead people all around.

What are you looking for in a mate? I have a mate. What’s this about? *shouts* Zeus, you said this was the gods messaging app.

*Zeus* Of course, it is. Just answer the questions-so we can all get to know you.

*Haides* Ok, I’m looking for my wife-she’s my mate.

*Zeus* Pussy.

Past Loves?: Well, I try to be faithful and a good hus-

*Zeus* Double pussy.

*Hades* As I was saying, I’ve tried to be faithful, but there were two other women in my life-

*Zeus* Boring.

*Haides* There was this sexy nymph, Oceanus’s daughter Luce. I kinda kidnapped her and brought her to the underworld. I flirted a bit but she ignored me. Persephone found out and wanted her dead so I returned her topside and turned her into a poplar tree.

There there was this nymph from the river Cocytus. She smelled so sweet and smiled a lot but again Minthe hated my home so I asked for a kiss and said that I’d take her to the human realm for a kiss. I just pecked her on the cheek, I swear. Once topside, I knew it was a mistake and left her, I didn’t want to upset Persephone-

*Zeus* OMG, Big pussy.

*Haides* Shut up, man. Not all of us are assholes to our wives. Persephone deserves my respect.

*Zeus* I tapped that.

*Haides* She’s your daughter.

*Zeus* And??

This is a companion to my Facebook page, stop by for some snark! Also, you can pre-order Themis, the first book in the Queens of the Underworld Series in the Realm Of Darkness Boxset. Forty-five full-length novels by USA Today Bestsellers and other great authors! Grab your copy today!

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